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My heart is but a organ

I've learned to master ignoring my loneliness and emptiness like a pro. Every now and then I can't help this overwhelming feeling of being alone.
I've seen people go through relationships, break up, take "a break from relationships", and then find their someone, people who never dated anyone find their someone, the boys I like start dating other girls, all while me still remaining single.
Not like I am asking for a relationship, all I'm asking for is a little company that is up to par of my standards. Yes, people have told me they are high, but retrospectively, not really. Smart, witty, and good lord, a good guy?
I never thought of myself as ugly, but never as gorgeous, and as the months go on, I can't help but feel that sinking feeling that I'll be alone forever.
I give my friends advice all day long on their relationships and lives, but none has advice for me. I don't think that they don't care, I just think there's nothing to say about it. Nonexistent. Fin.
And sometimes, at the end of the day, I don't want any advice, I just want support. Someone to listen to me, even if nothing has changed in my love life doesn't mean that my emotions don't.
Two years. Two years it's been since I've been even intimately involved. Let me tell you, they've been the hardest two years yet.
I am a strong person, a good character, and I know I will get somewhere with my life. I just haven't figured out the love thing yet.
I'll go on ignoring this, but who knows how long this will last. It's breaking me down....

I need some

SweetWater Festive Ale
Well, the temperature is dropping and the days are getting shorter. You know what that means don't you? It's time for our WINTER BREW...

A full-bodied, high-octane brew capped off with our use of cinnamon and mace. This beer will warm you all the way to your bones. Brewed only one day a year. We only bottle 7200 liters, 3800 12 oz. cases, and a handful of kegs, so get it while you can.

* 8.6% alcohol
* Six Packs
* Liter Bottles
* 15.5 Gallon 1/2Bbl kegs (US Sankey)
* 5 Gallon torpedo kegs

Mmmmm....that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Georgia on my mind

Been in Atlanta for over a week now. The city is wonderful, the city in general, is a wonderful thing. I missed it so. And the only thing I truly miss is sweet sweet Yuengling.
My birthday was awesome, one of my best friends came from South Carolina for the weekend. I ended up falling face first into the concrete streets of Atlanta so never really made it to the bar. Note: never wear wedges through the hills of atlanta...ever.
Getting things set up, got school orientation in about a week, school soon after (eek!), and I officially start the new job tomorrow, coffee...again, ehh...it's literally a block away from my place, they're willing to give me hours, and hell, they've got health insurance. Although, I really wanted the job at Winnie Couture but since they're only open M-F 9-5pm, and with my school schedule...yeah, leaves not enough time for me make enough money to eat AND pay bills, and after my last job I decided that wasn't so fun anymore, if ever.
I'm bummed that I got sucked back into coffee, and on top of that, my horoscope said and I quote, "you'll receive a flood of invitations, but only some of them will be intimately related to the unique work you're here on Earth to do. Those few may be so amazingly useful, though, that they could dramatically change your life for the better. Please say no to all others so you can attend to the good stuff with your heart on fire and your mind as fluid as a mountain stream".

Which basically says to me...

I shouldn't go back to coffee, but here I go again, and perhaps Murphy's law will take a break on me.

Everything's coming together, and I'm getting to know the town, the people, culture...

oh the great adventures I'm going to have!

Farewell Florida

Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Oh tomorrow I head to those Atlanta skylines.

These shaky hands...

T-minus 4 days.

Oh god, I'm getting nervous.

Another home bites the dust

I move out today.

....and where I'm going, and how I'm getting there....

will be nothing less than an adventure.

Temptation at its best

I couldn't resist.....

I'll be in Atlanta by mid August. icantfreakingwait.

Low life heaven

I've been out of health insurance since I've moved up here to Tallahassee.
I've been having problems since before I moved, that are just getting more and more serious as time goes on.
I haven't been able to find a job with health insurance since I've been up here, and now that I'm moving, there's no way I can get any in such a short period of time.
My wisdom teeth have been coming in for a year now, and off and on it'll hurt for a period of time, but since yesterday, the pain has been excruciating, and there is NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT.
I dont have the insurance, I sure as hell don't have the $$ to pay for it, and I definitely dont have the time to take off to get the surgery done (I'm trying to work alot to move out of tally).
I call my mom to talk to her about it, and I get a "well, I guess youre shit out of luck".
"Oh okay mom, thats fine. Why would I ever except any sympathy from you? because I never got an ounce of it from you growing up. Oh and that loan you took out on your house to renovate it? Dont spend a portion of it on your daughter who's in pain. Why the fuck would you do something like that?"
I'm never sleeping in that fucking room she built for me.

ah damn

There's been a boy...
that's been coming in for the last 3 nights.

I gotta say..
I'm attracted.

Then when he says he's from Virginia...

I'm not so attracted.


I'm such an asshole.